I think it hit me today! I am moving to a place that is so different then anything I have ever known. I have experienced country life, but not to this extent. Is my faith strong enough? Am I trusting the Lord to provide, protect and guide me in this journey? I am walking away from all that I have ever known. I will be leaving my two sons behind to make their own decisions and work out their own issues alone. Will I be a blessing to the community? So many thoughts!
I know in my heart that the Lord wants obedience over sacrifice. I know that He has called us to separate from the world and its ways, and not just in spirit but a physical separation. Is it normal to be unsure of the unknown? Fear itself is not from the Lord. I do pray for the Peace that passes all understanding. I know I can’t allow my emotions to dictate truth as our emotions are brought about sometimes by doubt or by lack of knowledge.
I am a thinker and I sometimes over think or make something much larger than it truly is. These are weaknesses in my flesh and must be overcome.
Will I lay my life down,
No matter what the cost?
Will I give up all the world
For the burning of my dross.
The flesh is such a wicked thing and how it can deceive us! We must be wise to its desires and truly want to die to self. We must want the things of the Lord. We must Love him and His word more than life. I say these things and speak it to my own heart which needs to be cleansed continually.
Moment by moment I give my heart to thee,
I walk in truth and honesty,
While grace abounds to me.
You guide me through the fires of life,
Which sometimes burns the flesh,
Yet love holds true, and holds me close
With wings of shaded rest.
I will walk out what the Lord has put before me. He has never failed me even though I have failed Him so many times. He has always protected me and provided for me. I remember one time when both my boys were much younger. I was a single mom and we struggled at times. One evening when it was supper time I had little or no food in the house. I told my boys that we will trust God to provide for us. So I set the table believing that God would supply our needs. He did. Someone knocked on the door. Our prayers were answered. Many times God has shown His mercy on me and my family. He said He would take care of His children! I am thankful! I could go on and on about the goodness of God. I will say that those that He has chosen from the foundations of the world, He will complete what He has started in them. The Refiners fire, although painful will produce pure Gold.