A Short Story on: A Walk of Hopeful Transformation
Why? Why can’t I just get it right? What rebellion! What pride! I couldn’t take it any longer! My thoughts were beginning to over take me and I needed to release them unto God! I needed to go for a walk and be alone. But are we ever really alone? I think not!
I began walking and my heart began to pound! Why? I long for transformation, to be consistent with my emotions and thoughts. “O Lord change my heart and my mind that I would bring you glory. Help me not to have doubts and unbelief. Oh Lord I am so wicked! My thoughts overtake me and leave me filthy like a dung heap! Fill me with my hearts desire to worship you, to love you as I ought! ”
I thought I would fall to my knees as the ache in my heart increased. Deep groans and gasps for air were upon me as I called out for mercy! “Oh Lord if I am not yours put an end to me right now for I cannot bear the thought of going on any longer the way I am! Why go on if my life and its purpose do not show fruit!” I keep walking hoping for some answer, for some relief of this torment! ” O Lord answer me! Am I yours? If so please change this wicked heart! Please forgive me for my constant failures. Make my heart right! Help me to see your Majesty and your Glory that I might truly see my sins. Help me to hate my sin! Help me to desire your will only! Lord I cannot go on with out you! I have no desire for the things of this world!”
I continued walking calling out to God. I decided to keep walking and not stop until things seemed right in my heart. I felt I would have to walk forever! I would not return. How could I and have things as they once were. I’d rather die! So I kept walking.
The night sky was creeping upon me threatening to engulf and overtake me. I didn’t care! Everything around me seemed surreal, like I was walking outside of myself. My heart yearning for the peace that settles the racing heart.
Then I felt some sense of hope, some sense of peace. He is allowing me to live so maybe just maybe! I will continue to look up to keep my thoughts focused on Him and His will!
My assurance lies in Hope of transformation! It lies in faith that He will continue to change me. It lies in His promises that if I am His, His will will be done!
To God be the Glory and Honor for ever!
Here are some pics the Sunday just passed as a few of us went out and had some fun. One of the Gentleman on the land when he can sets up a gun learning and practice session. We learn how to operate and use a different variety of guns. This is very helpful as some of us have little or no experience at all. Here on the land it is important to know how to use a gun as some of the predators can be life threatening. Rattlesnakes and wild boars are around so protection is necessary. Some of the children are pretty good shots!
Here I am shooting the 45 caliber pistol
We had a lot of fun trying out different guns. Looking forward to getting in more practice.
Some added pictures for your viewing pleasure